Why my partner is not my Valentine
The little one is currently learning about Valentine’s Day at preschool.
My partner and I don’t do Valentine’s Day.
In our nine years together we never have.
One year I did give him a pair of pink underwear that I decorated with hearts, but that was more about getting together with girlfriends to drink wine and do a silly craft than it was about being romantic.
We also don’t celebrate an anniversary because we’re not married; although, according to a comment card we filled out to get a discount at our favourite restaurant, the big day is October 2.
Honestly, I don’t even know when we became a couple. I do remember us somewhat solidifying things after many months of “hanging out”…
Me: Hey Ryan Gosling (not his real name).
Me: So like, if I’m like at the grocery story and this guy and I are both looking at broccoli and we start chatting and then he asks me to go for coffee should I go?
Ryan: Umm…I don’t think you should go. Should I go if I’m in that situation?
Me: I don’t think so.
Ryan: Okay then.
Me: Sounds good. I’m going to class now.
Ryan: Okay, see you later.
It’s not that we’re not romantic. The man always makes sure there is a bag of my favourite candies hidden in my carry-on when I take a flight, he ties my skates, and sometimes, he brings home wild daisies that he picked on the side of the road. We do lots of romantic things for each other, we just tend not to do them on pre-designated and overly commercialized romantic days, like Valentine’s Day.
But now that our daughter is colouring heart-holding kitten pictures and talking about “amour” I’m starting to reconsider my V-Day stance.
I don’t think my parents really celebrated February 14th with each other either. It seemed like it was more about us kids and all of us as a family. I don’t remember my parents going on a date on Valentines’ Day but I do fondly remember a box of chocolate frogs from my step-father and my mom putting cinnamon hearts in my lunch.
At school, it was more about collecting Valentines cards from anyone and everyone than about getting something special from a certain someone. I would hoard those cards long after February, as if those little pieces of paper that my classmates were forced to give me were an accurate representation of how popular and awesome I was.
Eventually, I kind of grew out of the whole thing and stopped paying the day much attention…until now.
I want to help my daughter with Valentine’s Day cards and put cinnamon hearts in her lunch box.
I’m very much okay with my partner and I not having a Valentine’s Day, but I want my daughter and I to have one.
I want to start doing Valentine’s Day.
Yup, it’s silly and commercialized but if it makes us eat candy and be a little nicer, I’m okay with that.
This year I won’t even be with my partner on February 14th because the little one and I are going to Florida to visit my parents. So this year, and until she either finds someone new or starts scoffing at me, my daughter will be my Valentine.
I think she’s a good choice… super cute, smart, quite charming and even a great kisser!